I feel the stirring
of your papery wings
thin as first light
how the merest gesture
might lift the weight
of a heavy heart.
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I feel the stirring
of your papery wings
thin as first light
how the merest gesture
might lift the weight
of a heavy heart.
Rather tanka-ish, the relationship between the first and second … senryu?
I don’t think I was paying attention to a certain form convention, but hope it does have something of that kind of feel where a small detail of nature becomes either more universal or tied to a kind of emotion, as in haiku, etc. It’s a bit of a play on the idea of chaos theory, I think, where the wing beat of a butterfly in China could cause a cyclone to form, the way small gestures can cause energies to multiply or dissipate. As for the relationship between sections, I wrote it as a three line sort of a sentence, divided it into six phrases, and put in the stanza break so that I could remove the comma.